However short-lived, this we do know today.
We got a text from our doctor this morning letting us know that of the four embryos, two were healthy blastocysts, the other two were at earlier stages. At the appointment I first had an acupuncture treatment (yum), then Dr. C and the embryologist came back and showed us a picture of the to blasts. They were beautiful (in my humble opinion). I asked why they were oblong — more like a figure 8 than a circle — and the embryologist said it is because they already have begun to hatch, even better!
The other two are still hanging on, but one seemed to be stalled in its growth and would not result in a baby, and the other they are going to let grow through tomorrow morning and then check in. If it has reached blastocyst stage (they estimate about a 50/50 chance) we will be able to freeze it for a later transfer. You know what I’m praying for.
So, in the end, having two healthy blasts, we decided to transfer one and freeze one for a later transfer. Both Dr. C and the embryologist were fine with whatever we wanted to do but felt more comfortable transferring one. The likelihood of either of them becoming a baby is the same whether they’re transferred at the same time or separately. So transferring one does a couple things for us: it reduces our likelihood of multiples, it gives us more than one transfer (praise God!!), and the second transfer may even be slightly more optimal than this one because the uterine lining tends to be healthier when your body has not just undergone stimming and retrieval. This second transfer could always even be for our second child down the road, if all goes well this go round!
All in all, the disappointment from the low fertilization rate has been quelled a bit and we are very grateful to likely get to have one other transfer from this IVF/retrieval process. I have to admit, physically I feel pretty cruddy right now. No one warned me how rough it can be post-retrieval!! This is the worst part by far! My ovaries will continue to be enlarged for another couple weeks, my digestion is whack thanks to the anesthesia and progesterone (which was so high it didn’t register on the clinic’s machine — just what they want to see), I’ve been sleeping terribly thanks to those symptoms and the side effect of the steroid, eating isn’t sounding so great but I’m guessing is kind of important for staying pregnant, and I overall feel like I just might pop. Of course it is all worth it to give the little pearl babies a fighting chance but I will say I am glad I’m taking off the remainder of the week from work to rest and recuperate.
So tonight I am more pregnant than I ever have been (or known I have been) before. Our embryo is with us, the beginning of a baby. I’m imagining it continue to hatch and slowly make its way to a comfy spot in my uterus to hang out for nine months. (We will know a week from Friday.) I’m connecting with it and praying for him or her. Trying to be at peace and in the moment in this emerging relationship.