I am losing my mind people. Had an appointment this morning and here’s the message I sent to a couple of my pals after:
Hey my IF expert friends,
They both did, in fact, write and call back and talk me off the ledge and through some deep breathing, which helped. They also both reminded me that we’re going for quality over quantity which I totally agree with, I’m just suddenly having this fear that the follicles are going to get stuck in their growth and we will only have, like, two quality and worthy of retrieving. I really have no indication of that, it is likely my RE just wants to give them more time to grow and let them do their thing. I was totally reading into her every word choice, tone, and facial expression, which Hubs interpreted completely differently and entirely more rationally. I am practicing the self-talk mantra “I am doing my part” today.
Speaking of losing my mind and my little part in this all, I’ve forgotten two and a half times now to do my shot — one we remembered within the 6:00-8:00 window, one we did at 9:30 (yikes!!!), and the other I realized before Hubs left for his work thing that we would be missing and we found a way to make it work. What the heck kind of IVF patient am I!? Until today I thought it was just a sign that I’m at peace and in a good place but, obviously, today my neuroticism and anxiety take over so I’m now certain that I’ve been pushed over the edge into the “total flake” category, hopefully only momentarily.
And what can help with that, you ask? Why, baby animals and spa music of course!